


In the name of

by Marayanna



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Crew as Family, Davenport thinks about Lucretia's decision, Dubious Morality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Family Dynamics, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers for Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Team as Family, in the light of his own dubious choices during the Stolen Century, it's all rather bittersweet, it's what it says on the tin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23188978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marayanna/pseuds/Marayanna
Summary: Davenport is proud of Lucretia, in a way.As the captain of the Starblaster it is his duty to separate his feelings from the crew’s needs, to do everything in his power to keep them safe and the mission going. Sometimes he has to be ruthless. Sometimes he has to be cruel. Sometimes he justneedsto do the thing, not because it is good but because it isessential, and to hell with his pain. And Lucretia is right by his side during all these years, watching and learning as he makes every impossible sacrifice, every heartbreaking decision.He shouldn’t be surprised, really, when she finally makes one herself.
Relationships: Davenport & The Director | Lucretia, Davenport (The Adventure Zone) & Everyone, IPRE Crew | Starblaster Crew & Davenport, The Director | Lucretia & Everyone, The Director | Lucretia & IPRE Crew | Starblaster Crew
Comments: 12
Kudos: 36





	In the name of

**Author's Note:**

> I relistened to the first Stolen Century episode after writing this and it turns out the Hunger attacked their plane only _after_ they left it? And then they tried to contact mission control but because they couldn't get through Davenport makes the decision to continue the mission and leave? Well what I pictured when I wrote this (and some other fics as well) is more like a dramatic escape as their world falls down around them. Let's call it my licentia poetica.

Davenport is proud of Lucretia, in a way.

As the captain of the Starblaster it is his duty to separate his feelings from the crew’s needs, to do everything in his power to keep them safe and the mission going. Sometimes he has to be ruthless. Sometimes he has to be cruel. Sometimes he just _needs_ to do the thing, not because it is good but because it is _essential_ , and to hell with his pain. And Lucretia is right by his side during all these years, watching and learning as he makes every impossible sacrifice, every heartbreaking decision.

He shouldn’t be surprised, really, when she finally makes one herself.  
  
  


Davenport remembers the rush of fear and adrenaline his first big decision has cost him. Their world, their home, being attacked and destroyed – and their ship being their only way out. More heroic men than him would choose to stay and fight, perhaps. Davenport makes the ship go faster and _faster_ as he concentrates on steering through the changing planes of existence, so focused on _escaping_ that he doesn’t get the chance to give his homeworld even one, last glance.

(it takes its toll, of course. Once they land on the new planet, once he’s done giving orders and directions, once he knows his crew is _safe_ – then and only then he allows himself to go to his private cabin and break down. He’s not used to asking for help, not this early into the mission. He will learn – later. But for now, he just crumbles on his bed and sobs and sobs. He didn’t see his world getting destroyed and in some ways it’s worse this way, because now he can’t stop _imagining_ what the annihilation of an entire plane of existence looks like. He imagines smoke and fire and death, and people being heroic and people dying. He thinks about his crew that's made of scientists, not warriors. He thinks about the choice he ultimately made for them. Thousands of questions whirl in his mind, the heaviest among them: _was he right?)  
  
  
_

Davenport remembers the year after that, when he flies away from that world and leaves Magnus behind. His hands do not shake on the wheel only because he is a professional, the best pilot, the best _captain_. His hands are steady and his eyes are sharp as he saves the remaining members of his crew from the end of the world, again, again. He does not think about the choice Magnus made, about the choice heroes make. The one Davenport should, perhaps, make, but he can’t, he _can’t,_ as long as there’s even sliver of hope that they might still survive this, that they might _fix this_.

His choice turns out to be right, in the end. The bond engine remakes them the moment they reach the next world and Magnus, miraculously, stands amongst them again. There’s awe, there’s wonder, there’s finally research and understanding, because they are still first and foremost a crew of scientists.

(his choice turns out to be right, but it doesn’t stop him from avoiding Magnus for months afterwards, guilt and shame hot in his chest. He left him. He’s Magnus captain and _he left him_. Magnus doesn’t seem bitter or angry and Davenport knows it’s not an act on his part, that he genuinely isn’t mad. Magnus wouldn’t be Magnus if he didn’t stay behind to protect people but Davenport wouldn’t be Davenport if he abandoned the mission, and they both know it. He wonders what that says about them. He wonders what that says about _him_ , that given a second chance, he would leave Magnus again)  
  
  


Davenport remembers when the six of them are put on the trial and killed, only to wake up next year with exhausted, frazzled Lucretia steering the ship. She’s done what no one has done before – she spent the whole year all alone on a hostile planet, protecting the ship and staying alive, while the whole world was out for her blood. It would break a lesser man, but instead it seems to ignite in Lucretia some quiet, unstoppable fury, brings out the steel in her core that was dormant so far. She doesn’t talk much about what happened during that year, but her nightmares and new triggers are the answer enough.

(and when the crew encounters new dangers Davenport sees a look in her eyes – the weary readiness, the cold determination, the steel, the guilt. And he understands then, that in order to keep the crew safe she will do anything, anything. He understands then, that she already _has._

Davenport knows what it feels like to have a weight of the whole mission on your shoulders, he knows the kind of decisions it might push a person into. He goes to her cabin one night and she talks and cries. And at the end, she looks him straight in the eyes, ready to be condemned but unrepentant all the same. And Davenport says _in the name of the mission_ , and he says _whatever it takes_ , and he says _I’m proud_ )  
  
  


Davenport remembers the robotic planet and the stone that contained millions of souls. Entire societies were enclosed in one, single object, asleep and protected until it was safe for them to awaken again.

Millions of souls, the very thing Hunger devours to grow.

There’s only one possible course of action in his eyes, and it’s ruthless and cruel and _needs_ to be done. They have to destroy the crystal and all the souls it contains so that they never get into the Hunger’s clutches. So that their adversary can be that much weaker the next time they meet it. So that they might get a _chance_ in this war.

Lup stops him and he doesn’t know if he’s furious or relieved. In the end, the crew makes the decision together, and it is to be merciful. To be kind. To never allow for the means to justify their goals.

They leave that world, the crystal stowed firmly and safely on the ship.

(and Davenport stares into his own eyes in the mirror for a long time, afterwards. Just when did he become a mass murderer? Just when did protecting the mission, protecting his _crew_ start to justify – everything? How much further is he prepared to go?)  
  
  


Davenport remembers – everything. Their hundred years long mission, the Relics, the Voidfish, the years at the Bureau of Balance. The remembering is sudden and painful, but the world is ending and they don’t have time and there are decisions to be made.

“We have to go,” he says, because that’s what he knows, that’s what he _remembers_. The mission goes on and whatever happened this cycle, whatever attempt failed this time, it can wait until they are safe the next world over. They can regroup, discuss their strategy, find a better plan.

The crew all but mutinies in his face and he doesn’t understand. His people make the decision to stay, to fight, to be bloody _heroes_ and Davenport is so frustrated he could tear out his own hair, because don’t they understand, don’t they _see_? They have to survive, they have to continue the mission and damn the consequences.

Or maybe, it strikes him, they understand and see more than he ever did. Or maybe he made impossible choice after impossible choice so that they might grow and learn and become powerful, and finally _fight back_.

And for the first time in a hundred years, he flies the ship _into_ the storm.

(his hands are sweaty and his mind buzzes and he’s not sure of anything anymore)  
  
  


Davenport remembers everything, and it’s a nice feeling. He’s able to talk, and that’s very welcome as well, especially after years of constant static in his mind, on his tongue. He uses these newly recovered abilities to reconnect with his crew and to learn about the world they saved. The world _Lucretia_ saved.

She avoids him even more than she does Taako, and he supposes it’s a fair assumption on her part. She took away his whole life, after all. And not only that, but she also stripped him from his own agency and dignity, making him nothing more than a walking, breathing puppet. Anyone would be furious at her. Anyone would find it unforgivable.

But Davenport has been Starblaster’s captain for a hundred years. He understands decisions born out of necessity more than anyone else ever could.

(he thinks about the decision he was about to make, before his crew stopped him. And then he looks at Taako smiling with Kravitz and Angus, at Magnus bantering with Carey and Killian, at Merle with his children. He was about to forsake people on this planet without a second thought and he wonders if there would be any redemption for him if he succeeded.

He was ready to abandon the world to save his crew and Lucretia was ready to abandon her crew to save the world. Both of them made their decisions in the name of love, and both of them are, perhaps, unforgivable.

And deep in his heart he knows, that no matter how harshly Taako treats her or how mad she thinks Davenport should be, no punishment they could bestow upon her would be worse than the constant doubts that will follow her forever. Thousands of questions that will always whirl in her mind, the heaviest among them: _was she right?_

And Davenport knows she will never find an answer, but – just like him – she will spend the rest of her life searching for it anyway)


End file.
